Excited for Michael Jackson!

Hey Y'all!


After nearly five fucking years, the music world is FINALLY doing something right!
The spirit of the King of Entertainment, Michael Jackson, will live on, TONIGHT, at the Billboard Music Awards, in the form of a hologram.
The story of this exciting and masterful comeback broke only a few days ago, and truly, the MJ fandom has been going haywire every since. And as part of that fandom, I will say I haven't slept right in days, waiting for this! (thank God for coffee!) The question coming out of everyone's mouth via social media is "WHAT WILL MICHAEL LOOK LIKE?"
It literally takes me back to the days of when Michael was earthbound and he would go someplace. The first thing I asked was, "What was he wearing? How was his hair?" The consensus I'm seeing is that most of the fans beleive that a "Bad" tour Michael Jackson will be revived onstage.

The idea behind this, is that, really, in 1988, Michael Jackson did sit and have a hologram of himself start to be developed, with his image being created. I'm not sure if he actually got to see the digital version of himself, but the image was left behind to be tinkered with.

A hologram coin with an image similar to the way Michael's 1988 hologram looked.
And a few years ago, I beleive it was at Coachella, another deceased singer was brought back when Tupac Shakur debuted in hologram form.

Tupac to the right, looks pretty realistic. But I'm glad they waited to perfect the technology a few years before using it on Michael Jackson. I want it perfect.
But the thing I keep thinking about is...wondering really is "What if it's not BAD Michael? What if it's MATURE Michael?"
My way of thinking is this: If the hologram is a success, someone is going to jump up and want to send Hologram Michael on tour. And really, if it were 55-year-old Michael Jackson on tour in real life, he'd look closer to how he did in "This Is It" as opposed to "Bad".

You get the curly hair, as with the Bad tour, but obviously, Michael's complexion is lighter due to his Vitiligo, and he's a bit thinner...but GOSH, does it really matter?
In a world where a bunch of no-talent hacks no one even will care about 5 years from noware taking over, we have to cling to what we can get from the man that was and is the BEST.
That's Michael Jackson.
And frankly I don't mind if it's 15-year-old Mike, 25-year-old Michael or 55-year-old Michael emblazoned on that stage tonight, I just want MICHAEL JACKSON up there, period.
Back where he belongs. Back where he deserves to be.
Back recieving awards and headlining shows and giving me and "my people" palpiltations at the sight of him.
I want my eyes to bug and tears to well up and feel that warm, peaceful feeling in my chest that I always had when I looked at him.
Furthermore, I want all these little so-and-so acts runnign around to look up and see how a HOLOGRAM of a man that's been in Heaven for FIVE YEARS can still outdo and slay all thier asses!

Because even after FIVE YEARS, Michael Jackson is still FLAWLESS!

A Couple of Jackson-Themed Dreams!!!

Hey Y’all!

I have to tell you, last night was a banner night for me! I not only had a dream about the King of Pop, Michael Jackson, but also his brothers, The Jacksons! Both dreams were incredibly vivid and entertaining and I wanted to share them with you, while they were still fresh in my mind. (I forget my dreams so easily sometimes! *cries*)


MICHAEL JACKSON:

This dream started out strangely enough. I was in what appeared to be something like a small boathouse. (I never sail). But it had a little kitchen in it and for some reason, I was trying to fry some fish fillets. They never did come out right. As I was cooking, I could hear a whole bunch of people start shouting and calling my name and Michael’s name. So I walked out of the boathouse and I guess over to the dock, where a motorboat was pulling it. It had a couple on it, and two little girls. They were not Jacksons, but they seemed to know who I was. And as I stood there, Michael came up and joined me saying hello and hugging the kids. It was a Dangerous sort of looking Michael in the CTE shirt and with the long, blown out hair like in “Remember the Time”. He then asked me to them the house, and he went disappeared back inside.

Next to the boathouse was Michael’s main house, I assume, but it was nothing like Neverland. It was a beautiful little suburban-type house anyway. I assume, I was Michael’s wife, perhaps. But the people were happy and followed me into the house. I knew I was in Michael’s house, because the first thing I showed them was a a big shelf holding a bunch of his music awards. And for some reason, there was an old bicycle for Paris mounted on the wall, but I never saw any of Michael’s children in there.

So me and the four others went around looking at the house and some how wound up in the kitchen, where Michael, bless his heart, was doing his best to cook. What he cooked seemed to frighten the children, and they began asking me for Ramen Noodles instead. So Michael Jackson ate one monstrosity and five others enjoyed Ramen Noodles. LOL.

And the last thing I remember about the dream with Michael, was he was telling everyone to get their swimsuits on, we were going swimming, as the house sat right on the water. It was really, really cute and if I never woke up from it, I’d have lived in that little world forever, happily.


THE JACKSONS:

This dream was really, really great. I got to do something I always wanted to do, I went to a Jacksons concert! I very close to the stage, somewhere around the fifth row, and the place was packed, trust me!

So, the show started just like a real Jacksons’ show with them coming up out of the bottom of the stage with smoke rising and everything. But what was different, was that usually the Jacksons wear really cool suits, and onstage in this dream, they weren’t. Instead, they were all wearing red silk pajamas, and the little church shoes. It was hilarious, because as they performed and danced and sang, a few seats over from me, a lady hopped up, ran onstage and was trying to grab Marlon. But this poor woman was so excited, she fainted and almost slid off the stage.

Marlon tried to save her, grabbing her ankles, and almost being pulled off. AND HE KEPT SINGING THE DAMN SONG!!!

Eventually the Jacksons pulled the pajamas off, and were wearing their suits underneath. The last thing I saw before I awoke from this, was Marlon reaching out and shaking my hand.


And that was all, but it was fun while it lasted!

I'm Ashamed of Myself...

Hey Y'all,


So a few days ago, I started my food experiment where I keep a close track and monitor what it is I'm eating to hopefully change my habits.
And now, looking back on it, I really have a horrendous way of eating.
I have eaten a copious amount of fast food--Breakfast Jacks from Jack in the Box, Curly Fries, Chicken Nuggets, Tontino's Frozen Pizza, Soda and Folger's Coffee.
Then, on Wednesday night, I went to the State Fair with my friend Ebonie. While I did eat far less than I did last year, it still was a mess.



I ate almost an entire Blooming Onion similar to that, a Lamb Gyro and a Funnel Cake with some Bubblegum Slushie.
I can't explain how I hate the way I eat. And I'm surprised whenever I have bloodwork done in dialysis it comes back fairly normal. I have lost close to 100 pounds, and I honestly think that the way I keep it off, considering what goes into my body, is that I do try to not eat until I'm almost falling over with hunger.
I would eat better, but the thing is, I don't like to cook. Not because I'm not skilled at it, I'm a very good cook, it's that I have to think of my father and put him first. And because my father only have three teeth--really--I literally have to spend 4 to 6 hours preparing dinner for him, which includes smothering something down in a gravy. And I do NOT want to eat that every day. So really, to avoid having to cook two seperate meals, I else fast food it, or skip it entirely.
Yeah, I know that's bad, that's awful, but one, who's gonna cook for me and two, who's gonna give me the extra money to buy enough for both of us to have meals? Cause I'd rather try to feed dad.
It doesn't bother me. It helps keep me from gaining. Because in a little over a month is my birthday and I desperately want to fit into the cute clothes from Forever 21. When I was fat and ugly, I wanted to wear the pretty clothes and now I can. And I don't really mind of my tummy growls here and there as long as I can zip up those jeans over it.

Food Blog for March 30, 2014

Hey Y’all,



This is my first post, in keeping with my food blogs to see just exactly what I eat, and see how I can improve or alter my eating habits to best benefit myself and try to lose some weight and also see just what I do in a day. Because I just live my life and don’t really pay much attention to what it is I do.

As I stated before my goal is ten pounds, a manageable goal for a month, I believe.

So…my day started today at 9:30. On my non-dialysis days, I try to get up between 9:30 and 10, so I can sleep a little bit longer. And I had my first “meal” of the day--a 16 ounce cup of Folgers Black Silk Coffee with four spoons of sugar and a spoon of non-dairy creamer.

To be honest, I don’t really like to eat breakfast. I’m rarely hungry in the morning, and I prefer to eat when I am actually hungry, rather than trying to force myself. I DO eat breakfast on dialysis mornings because I’ve found without it, I become weak. But on my free days, a cup of coffee suffices.

Coffee is the most important thing I put in my body on a daily basis. My day starts with it. Before I dress, before I put on my make up, I have that coffee.

I would rather have a mug of steaming coffee than a plate of scrambled eggs and bacon strips any day. I know some people drink their coffee black--I looked at a diet Bette Davis did in the 30s, where she had a cup of black coffee and 2 slices of toasted raisin bread. I tried, I quit because black coffee, no sugar, nothing is too bitter for me. Yuck. And the raisin bread I tried was too sweet. So I just skip it.

Get used to this--Sundays, Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, my off days from dialysis--coffee is my “breakfast”.

This is an off day for me, so all I’m “really” going to do, is work some more on the latest chapter of my Michael Jackson Fan Fiction Saga Rage in Hell, and cook dinner later this afternoon. Don’t worry, real food will get into my system before the day is over. LOL.

At 10:20, I had a teeny morsel of coconut cake. My father bought a cake from the grocery store yesterday and while I have no intents of eating any of--all those needless calories--I had to cut it for him, as my father shakes too much from his Parkinson’s disease to do it himself. A little bit clung to the knife I used and I licked it off. I know I don’t need it, especially since I’m going to State Fair this coming week and will probably eat stuff I don’t necessarily need. I view eating not as something enjoyable--that way I avoid overdoing it--but as something simply to shut up my stomach and knock the hunger pangs out for a while. Most often, I can last until about 4 or 5 in the evening before I have to eat.

Today was a weak day. Around noon I became so violently hungry, I had to cave and eat. So I baked off one of those Classic Pepperoni Tontino’s Party Pizzas. I hate to cook, mainly because I hardly ever get to cook what I WANT to eat. Most of the money I spend is not spent to feed me, but to feed my dad. And in a place were I can take half an hour to bake a fillet of fish for myself or grill a steak, like I’d like, I CANNOT. Because my father only has three teeth and its difficult to chew, I instead have to spend 4 to 5 hours smothering some type of meat that I do NOT want and would choose not to eat, so HE can eat. So I will try to make this pizza last me most of the night or ideally until tomorrow. And eating rich, gravy covered food is not the way to LOSE, it’s the way to GAIN. And I have no desire to weight 260 pounds ever again. I’m a woman, not a linebacker.

I drank some Calorie Free Kool-Aid with the pizza. Because of my dialysis and no-existent kidney function, I have to monitor my fluid intake to keep from going into fluid overload and having congestive heart failure. I did this one a few years ago and it was scary.

Around 3:00, I had a Cup of Noodles, Chili Lime flavor. I ate most of the broth and left most of the noodles behind. I’ve been snacking on Roasted, Unsalted Peanuts off and on throughout the day.

It’s almost 4 pm and I am basically THROUGH for the day.

My Food Experiment...

Hey Y'all!


I know it's been a very long while since I've written to my personal blog, and to be honest, nothing really all that interesting has been going down lately. I've just been writing, Michaeling, and going back and forth to dialysis. Just the usual.


But in a little over a month--May 8 to be exact--I am going to have my birthday. And as a treat to myself for my birthday, I'm giving myself a make over. New hairstyle, new nails, mew makeup, new clothes, etc.
And there is the one thing I'm lacking...the smaller figure.


So in order to keep my eating in check and see just what I am consuming on a daily basis, I will keep a food log between now and my birthday. Right now I weigh about 155 pounds, I'd like to lose about ten pounds, which I think is a fair goal for a month.


So fingers crossed. Wish me luck! Food blog #1 goes up tomorrow.

Interesting Michael Jackson/Jacksons Dream

Hey Y'all!


It's not often that I have a dream about Michael Jackson or his brothers, but when I do, I like to blog it to document it and keep track of it. And this was one of those dreams that begged to be blogged.


The dream started in this big arena, and it seemed like the Jacksons--Marlon, Tito, Jackie and Jermaine--were finishing up one of thier Unity Tour concerts.  It was the older Jacksons, and from the way it looked, they were all greeting and hugging this woman. She looked like royalty, you know in furs and crown and all, but it was NOT Queen Elizabeth. I was standing right behind them.



They looked alot like this in my dream.
I remember I came up behind Jermaine, because he hugged the woman first, of course, and I heard him say he was glad he hugged her and got it over with, because he didn'tlike her to start with. I patted him on the back, laughing, and hugged him, from behind
I reckon I hugged him from behind, because JJ has ass for months.
What tickled me was he was wearing a white shirt like pictures above and I pressed my face into his back and I saw that my black eyeliner came off on his back!
I went through and hugged the rest, and the best was Marlon, because he stopped long enough to kiss me. And he looked amazing too!

How do I say no to that? Marlon can kiss me until our lips bleed!!!
This is where it gets different, I hugged Jackie and Tito last and as I was hugging Tito, a few feet away, Michael appeared. And what was so amazing was that he was actually dressed and coordinated with his brothers, looking like this:

White glittering jacket, just like it had been designed for the Unity Tour with the short hair like in the New York shows from 2001. I don't know if I was subconciously adding Michael to the Unity Tour where he belonged or not.
But Michael had a microphone and was announcing he wanted children onstage, to help him sing Heal The World. As he spoke, I waved at him over Tito's shoulder and he waved back.
And kids did start flooding around him, and what was funny was my friend Stacie was there, with my godson--and her son--Leon, and as she went by with him, she pulled me along, and handed her son TO Michael Jackson. Michael held the boy and continued singing and we squished close to him, singing along too and admiring him.
And then I woke up.
But it was fun to me that at least for one night, ALL of the Jacksons were reunited (no one really wants to see Randy, at least I don't in my dreams...) and they were performing together, the way they should be.
It was nice.

Marlon Jackson Tumblr Links.

This is for all the guys in the Marlon Jackson Fan Club!


Links to some of the Marlon Jackson items, I've reblogged via my Tumblr page:


https://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com <-- My page!


And the Links:


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72811141295/mariagrigcollection-randy-mike-marlon-with


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72714756233/hotness


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72709467759/kokofavorite-michael-and-marlon


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72709383908/kokofavorite-michael-and-marlon


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72572242218/is-this-the-one-marlon
I added the little something at the end. LOL!


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72504513445/marlons-rocking-that-white-cap


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72501593466/sing-it-marlon-baby


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72499566377/marlon-and-the-jacksons-performing-live-on-the


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72492801163/hmm-i-like-the-obvious-situation-happening-in


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72489497460/this-is-sexy-lulu-this-ones-for-you-girl


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72393836644/this-is-too-damn-sexy-for-words


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72371527003/dedododo-dedadada-who-the-hell-funny-as-all
DAFUQ is this?


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72214254783/mjsheartisstillbeating-michaelonthewall


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72185212120/what-was-jackie-doing-back-in-the-day-living-on


http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72185035383/victory-tour





http://mjsloveslave.tumblr.com/post/72184968372/one-of-the-besy-shows-everrr
rrr

How to BEAT The Baby Powder Challenge...

Hey Y'all,

As I like to frequent Youtube, I've become aware of this phenomenon wherein people take on the "challenge" of eating some substance, else in a spoon or in thier hand, etc. The Cinnamon Challenge, The Powdered Sugar Challenge, The Cornstarch Challenge...and some stuff that shouldn't even be EATEN.


That brings me to the Baby Powder Challege. I've seen a countless number of fools trying this on Youtube, all with the exception of Shoenice, having epic fails.

 

Now no normal human being will eat an entire DAMN bottle of powder and live--this man must be a superhero without a cape or something. And I suggest that no one else attempt that.

 

But if you want to beat the challenge and post a video to gloat to your buddies, PLEASE, do the following:

 

If you insist on eating the powder, TASTE IT FIRST. I've seen plenty of people whining and crying about the flavor of the powder. First of all powder goes on your ass, not in your mouth. But criminy, taste is first. Build up a tolerence to the taste is possible. This may take an amount of time.

 

And then there is the technique.

 

You are putting a powdered substance in your mouth. Do NOT tilt your damn head back, you will choke. Do NOT try to inhale/exhale through your mouth with the powder in your mouth. YOU WILL AXPHIXIATE, BREATHE IT INTO YOUR LUNGS AND DIE MISERABLY WITH LUNGS FILLING WITH FLUID.

 

What you do is this, pour desired amount of powder in hand/spoon, put it in your mouth. Immediately tilt your head forward. This will take the powder away from the throat/windpipe, and you can take a few shallow breaths THROUGH YOUR NOSE! NOT YOUR MOUTH! NOSE! NOSE! NOSE!

 

There's a nose with Michael Jackson attatched to it, so you remember. And I put Michael Jackson here, because it's my blog, and I wanted him in it. *coy smile*

 

You will produce saliva. Allow it to moisten/dampen the powder until it has the consistency of pancake batter. Swallow it.

 

Yay, you did it dingbat, and you're still alive! Did you film it? Film it and brag out as one of the few to beat the challenge.

 

I HAVE beat the challenge. And I'm still kicking. You're welcome.

 

DON'T CHOKE!

Natural with a POP of Color!

Hey Y'all!

For a while, a few of my friends have asked me to provide a tutorial for some of the makeup looks I wear, and after a bit of thought, I decided to share one of the "easier" ones, for my friends who want to dip their toes into the cosmetics pool.

Here is the look you'll be recreating as shown on ME:





Here are the TOOLS I used:


Yes, I only used THREE brushes. The pink one is a Soho brand, regular eyeshadow blending brush, a Soho Kabuki brush, and I'm not sure of the brand of my poor busted blush brush! LOL!

The COSMETICS I used:


Milani cream-to-powder in #03, Caramel Brown (I need more powder!), Wet n Wild Color Icon Bronzer in Bikini Contest, and Milani Baked Powder Blush in #09, Red Vino.

Rimmel Mega Length Mascara in BLACK, Jordana eyeliner in Denim Blue and Black.

Black Radiance Prismatic Color Lip Gloss in Rose Pearl.

The "Night" drawer of a cosmetics set I bought from Ulta called "Day, Night and Fun". I'll be using the colors in the bottom row, the one to the right and in the middle. (A light, rich gold and a deep brown.)

Okay, let's get STARTED!

Now first, make sure you're doing this with a CLEAN face. I know it seems silly to mention but I've seen a lot of people, at Walmart particularly, who seem to ignore this fact of life. Any type of soap or cleanser of your choice is fine, just make sure it's not too drying or anything.
After washing, I usually apply a thin coast of Pond's Dry Skin Cream, in the winter months as I turn grey without it. (I skip this step in warmer months.)

And though this is used for the entire face, I only use Hard Candy's Sheer Envy Primer on
my eyelids.

I'm a huge advocate for primer when I wear my eyeshadow. I have to have it.
Once you have the primer on and have allowed it to dry--takes about a minute--you can begin applying make up.

I put the cream to powder all over my face and blend it off into my neck and ears, because there is absolutely nothing WORSE than having your make up stop abruptly on your face and look like a mask! (There's a sponge that comes with the powder) I also use the black liner to fill in the sparse places in my eyebrows. (Use a color that matches your brow/hair color)

I always start with my eyes, as I'm the most particular about them. With the "regular" shadow brush, dip it into the light gold shadow, just enough to cover the brush. (3 to 4 taps) and sweep it underneath your eyebrow as a highlighter. I generally sweep it from where my brow comes near my nose to the outer edge of the brow, under there.
Then, dip the brush into the darker brown (5 to 7 taps) and apply it from the lash line to the crease of your lid. (The crease is where the eyelid folds up into when you open your eyes.) Do this with a bit of a light hand, it is a DAY look.
Following the crease, sweep the shadow in basically the shape of your eyeball. and don't forget to blend, so there's no line between the lighter and darker shadows. You want them to be gradient and fade from dark to light.
Taking the blue liner, line around your top and bottom lash lines. (This is the POP of color and can be used with a variety of other liner colors, green, purple, turquoise...)

Finish off with a healthy dose of mascara. And here's a hint, as you apply the mascara, do NOT look at the wand. You will poke your eyes out. Look into the mirror as you apply, not at the wand, I learned this the hard way.

Now take the blush brush and pat it into the blush. (Usually only one pat of the brush in the blush, per cheek, you don't want to look like Ronald McDonald's lover.) Now I do realize that I am darker skinned, so my lighter complexion friends feel free to use a color that does suit your skin tone. You don't want the blush to be obvious, but more like you were teased by a cute guy and blushed from within. Suck in your cheeks and apply the blush to the apples of the cheek and up into the hairline.

Take the kabuki brush and blend over the blush, to ensure the "natural" look. 
With the kabuki brush in hand, pat it into the bronzer, very, very lightly. (again, pick a bronzer that compliments YOU). While most people apply bronzer in specific places on their face and bodies, I use it like you would a translucent setting powder--I put it everywhere.
I buff it over my face and neck and down across my chest--especially if I'm wearing a V-neck shirt like I wore today to draw attention to the boobies. I find using the bronzer in that way gives me a nice, all over glow.

Finally, finish it all off by slicking on your favorite neutral lip color, for me Rose Pearl is the MJ of neutrals for what it does to my lips! Loves it!

And get out the door with your pretty self!

(Honestly, it took me about 20 minutes to do all of this. And I do my face like this frequently on a daily basis, because I do prefer to wear "full" make up.)

Thanks for reading, and I'll be posting more blogs soon!

Why I Don't Like Holidays...

Hey Y'all.

It's that time of the year again, where the weather turns cold and year is nearing its end. And while most people get glassy eyed and moist mouthed about the Thanksgiving and Christmas holidays. It's a time of feasting and family and camaraderie and memory-making. The sort of thing that makes a person misty in their twilight years...



At least, that's what I assume for OTHER people, anyway.
Since three am this morning, it's been nothing but work for me. Well, since yesterday if want to get technical about it.
I don't like my extended family, and would prefer to stay as  far away from them as humanly possible. So I do not spend holidays with them anymore. (I used to when my mother was alive, but that was years ago) They're the kind of people that if I were walking down the street and saw them on the same sidewalk, I would not only cross the street, but go about two blocks over just to avoid them.
But that's another story.
I hate holidays and have because since I was about 15 or 16, or maybe even younger, who the hell really knows, I have been responsible for all the major meals for Thanksgiving, Christmas and New Year's. Not one dish--ooh look, Tiff baked a pie--the ENTIRE meal.
And this year was no different. It was borne out of necessity years ago because my mother was a diabetic with no legs and could only sit and instruct me on what to cook. If dad were left to cook--I have a better chance of Michael Jackson coming to the door with a covered dish than dad trying to cook.
So, if I want to eat, I have to cook. No one is going to come and bring us plates of food, unless they want something, My family is one that moves in ulterior motives. They don't do anything out of the goodness of their hearts, its just not in them; perhaps it was bred out of them, I don't know. but if they come around and no one is in a casket, I get suspicious. My "spidey-senses" go to tingling.
And this year, I didn't even get to eat really, what I wanted to eat.
Because dad only has a few teeth and has trouble chewing, I couldn't buy a ham like I usually do--plus as a dialysis patient myself, this was frowned on--I had to buy tripe to cook.

Pull yourself together, it's supposed to look like that. No one ask me how I screwed up and managed to buy SIX POUNDS of that mess by mistake.
And I tried to make some decent sides with, a green bean casserole, some spiced stuffing, an apple pie, some biscuits. ( And dad very conveniently said he didn't want the damn casserole or the stuffing and I almost threw a large cooking spoon at him.)
Now, as I stated earlier, my day started at 3 am. Don't be fooled, there's Jacksons I wouldn't get up that early for.]But if you can wrap your mind around it, I had dialysis THIS MORNING at 5:30 am.
Because I refused to let them steal my Friday from me to do two back to back treatments.
I was mainlining coffee this morning, and was still so tired--I did NOT sleep the night before at all, my body is unaccustomed to going to bed at 10 or 11 at night--I didn't even put my makeup on!
So I get to dialysis and its so early its still black out, I'm SURE that all will be quiet and most of the people will be sleeping.
i have a cousin, Mary Louise, who also takes dialysis with me, because apparently, tragedy loves my family, was seated next to me. I get about 10 pages into my book, when i suddenly hear Tyler Perry's character Madea speaking.

Not mutedly or softly, but just as loudly as if Madea had waddled her fat, gender-bending self in there. Mary Louise had a portable DVD player and was playing her shit as loudly as if she were the only one in the room.
After trying to read for a while, I said fuck it, closed the book and plugged my headphones into my TV to try to watch a movie. Burt Lancaster was on. I'm not nutty about him but i could tolerate him that early in the morning.
The film, The Young Savages was about a murder involving some Puerto Rican and Italian Harlem hoods. And it was a REALLY GOOD film. And I BARELY HEARD it for my cousin's fucking noise.
I tried a few times to bring myself to ask her to turn it down, but as tired as i was it would have come out,
TURN THAT GOD DAMNED BULLSHIT OFF! So i kept my mouth closed. I don't know how she could be so ignorant to not care about anyone else there, that she might have been disturbing them. I play MJ almost constantly in there, you don't hear him unless you're on top of me.
It was ridiculous. i was supposed to sit in for three hours, but after only two, i threw in the towel. I couldn't do it. i was up and had been up so long.
They made me sign a little paper and I very distinctly remember writing,
"You trying staying awake over 18 hours and then having to go cook an entire meal alone. Have a pleasant day!"
And i brought my ass out of there and went home. Took my clothes off and went to bed for about 4 hours. i was still tired when i got up. But food wasn't going to magically appear.
The biggest part of the work is done now, but this is why i dread the holidays. I'm doing it alone.
And guess what, i get to repeat it NEXT MONTH for Christmas and New Years.
I need a drink.

The Nerve of Some Bums!

Hey Y'all!

In my life I've pulled some stunts here and there along the way, but never before have I ever had a stunt (almost) pulled on me, like the one today.
I got to dialysis three times a week and on dialysis days, I stop at Jack in the Box for breakfast. It's cheap, it's hot, it's easy.
Now for the last few weeks, my dad's car has been making an odd sound and has to do with a fan belt or something. I don't know anything about cars just it should go vroom when started. Anyway, as we pulled up, I noticed a bum on the side of the road. Jack in the Box is right near the freeway and there's always at least one transient panhandling and begging, etc.
Daddy hadn't even shut the car off before the guy was at his window claiming he could fix the car with something, I don't even know....
As he bothered my dad, I got out to go on in the building and order my breakfast.
My dad blew the horn.
As I walked back, the bum came and said that MY DADDY told him I would buy him something to eat.
So, I'm looking at my dad like he's gone ape-shit crazy. I was broke with less than 20 dollars on my person and I had to feed not only me, but Daddy that morning. I was like, what the hell is my Daddy talking about?
And as I'm trying to get to the car, the bum is pointing out some meal that was like 5 or 6 dollars advertised on the windows of the place.
At the same time my dad is trying to flag at me.
I mean it was ridiculous, but I WAS going to go try to buy this bum something to eat.
As I turned, one of the workers came running out, and were threatening to call the police on the bum if he didn't go away.
The bum was doing his very damndest to get me to bring him food--I COULD NOT AFFORD!--and said he'd be across at the McDonald's.
With him finally shooed away, I went to go tear my Daddy a new butt and yell about what he was thinking about.
That's when I found out I almost got played.
Daddy said he told that bum he didn't have any money--which he didn't--and then the fucking bum came and LIED and said my Daddy had told him I'd buy the food.
I didn't see the bum any more once he got shooed, but I have seen him around there multiple times and if I see him again, LORD HELP HIM.
I try to be a good kind giving person. That's what I've been taught--to be sympathetic to the less fortunate.
But this bum just fucked it up for the entire homeless population, because I will only donate to a charity organization, not the single folks.


They can get my donations; no one else!

That doesn't make any goddamned sense. Tiffeny comes first, and I'm not gonna starve myself for someone that's not even my flesh and blood. I'd go hungry to feed my Daddy, he's my Daddy, but not some bum! Get a job. It's so fucking cliché. It really is.
It just makes me hot and angry and I literally want to run his happy ass over the next time I see him. It's already hard enough to make a dollar stretch in this damn economy--2016 needs to get here--and then with some fool trying to bilk me out of a dollar.
It really makes no sense.
I'm not giving a handout ever again. Sorry. Blame the bum by I-H 10 for that.

I Demanded Michael Back!

Hey Y'all!

I know I have spent the greater portion of my life as a Michael Jackson fan, extremely loyal and dedicated to the One Gloved Wonder, but I never truly gave my fierce defense of him much thought until I had a dream last night that truly shook me to my core.



My dream was very strange. And while I didn't actually SEE Michael in it, I made enough noise about him, just the same.
I was with a group of maybe a dozen or so people, and we were in this old house. Something much like Michael's "Ghosts" video.
We all went down this long corridor and wound up in this old, wood-paneled office. The closest thing I could see to it was this from the film "Vertigo".


All wood all very masculine looking. But it was dimmer, darker and much more sinister looking, Inside this office, strange things happened. Different ghosts began appearing to me and group.
Scaring us, taunting us.
People were screaming and crying and cowering in the corners, trying to escape this craziness.
And then a new figure came into the room:


The Grim Reaper.
As I live and breathe the Grim Reaper was in the room with us!
And the first thought that entered my mind was not of my own mortality or anything at all of the sort.
While everyone else was going off the walls crying and having tantrums I went directly to this.
To Death...
And started screaming at him to give Michael Jackson back.
Screaming, demanding and yelling at this faceless creature with a scythe (the knife on the stick) to give Michael Jackson back to the world. Take one of the other people in the room with me, but give Michael back. That the world needed him. I needed him; we all needed him.

When I awoke, it was with a strange feeling. Kind of like that strange woozy sensation after a thrill ride at the fair. I don't know what it all meant or what it was supposed to do for me, but that dream struck a nerve in me.

For me to stand, puff out my chest and go toe to toe with the personification of Death itself, to demand Michael Jackson be brought back to the world, even after four years, I can't even begin to describe what that feels like or means to me. It shows me that I still love him, I still care, I'm still a damn good fan to him. Especially to stand and yell for his return. Because I know it wouldn't just mean something to me...but to so, so many others.

I looked to two separate dream interpretation websites for some sort of clarification of what a dream of the Grim Reaper means. Both stated that it could represent aspects of myself I'd prefer to keep hidden. In the idea that I wanted MJ back and basically was willing to sacrifice anyone in the room showed I was kind of selfish. But I'm an only child, what do you want? I didn't learn the word share until I was six.
But if it is selfishness that made me want him back, its not a trait of which I would be ashamed.
All Michael ever did in this world was love and want to love and be a good, solid contributor to humanity. And if it's selfish of me to want to bring that kind of descent, outstanding individual back to the world, then I will go until the Grim Reaper actually does put his icy grip on me being selfish.
I don't want Michael Jackson back just to go to his concert or buy his album. I want him here because he truly did make this world a better place and I remember even on my worst days I would say "Well Michael is here, so it'll be okay".
There's so many people, so many fans, his family, so many in general that would benefit and appreciate having him back.
And if it's selfish I am, I'm proud of that selfishness in me.

It was all just a dream, but it made me see an aspect of myself I've never noticed before. And I'm glad I got to see it.
And that I almost--ALMOST--helped humanity.

My Vintage Wardrobe Wishlist--PART 1: The Average Girl

Hey Y'all!

It's kind of common knowledge that I have a "passion" for fashions and attitudes of yesteryear. I've made no secret of my wishing to go back to a time when women dressed, looked and behaved like ladies. It's less prevalent now with twerk teams and thirsty broads on social media. (Seriously, does a guy really get turned on by seeing a woman shove corn on the cob into her hoo-ha? Much doubt) I know I jump up and down about the 80s, but the 80s are only 30 years ago. Damn it, I'm 27, I want something that wasn't common when I was a fetus. I really love the 1930s for some reason, probably because women with real bodies were considered beautiful and not quickly told to go on a damn diet.

So I have gone looking around the web and blog, collecting garments that I would actually sit, and place on my own body.

Me and my real body.


I stumbled across this gem on a vintage blog (wearinghistoryblog.com) where the lady pictured above sews her own clothing from vintage 1930s/1940s patterns. I would wear this, but I don't like wearing brown. I'd prefer everything brown be red or navy to compliment my skin tone. Hat included.


A beautiful sundress--I'm aware it's getting cold, toss on a cardigan! I love the sailor theme, nautical never goes out of style. Classic red, white and blue.

Another Americana dress, that was made more in the style of the late 1930/early 1940s preceding the second world war. this is a reproduction of course. But very demure and the sort of thing a lady would wear to a Fourth of July barbecue. Not bootyshorts and a halter top. This would also be very suitable for a variety of functions from church to going out for casual meals and a matinee movie.

I went nuts for this. It's from a stage production of His Girl Friday (if you don't know, wiki it, please.) I'm not so crazy for the dress, but it's the shoes that got me. the slate blue and off white with the stacked heel stole my heart! I die!

This is a vintage advertisement. I'd wear the two in the middle. There's something about the short puffed sleeves the little lacey from detail that appeals to me and screams feminine. None of the women are showing too much, and it is perfectly acceptable. You see the lines of the figure and that is enough. This is how my grandmother,(father's mother)  who was in her early thirties at the time would have dressed.

Eventually the weather would change, and though most people think of big, luxurious fur coats, it really wasn't practical unless you were a princess or extremely wealthy girl with a sugar daddy. (And until I hook Marlon Jackson...) this is what a girl like me would wear. I prefer the blue/grey number in the center.


Marlon wore the shiiiiiiiit out of a white smoking jacket a few days ago at a Motown event.
He's the last of the classy men...make a note of that y'all! You see something moving around that looks like this--CLAIM IT!

This is actually a 1920s flapper coat, trimmed in Monkey Fur. (Somewhere in Heaven, Michael Jackson just screamed. It's NOT Bubbles, I promise! )
Unlike today, when a woman could get splashed with red paint--and have to kill a person--there was no PETA fanatics back in the day and a lady could wear real fur without worry of it being destroyed, only a thief snatching it off her body. LOL.

This is a 1970s reproduction of a flapper coat, ELECTRIC BLUE VELVET because in that decade, there was a retro throwback inspired by films like The Great Gatsby. (Yes, there were adaptations of the F. Scott Fitzgerald prior to the Leo Dicaprio one. Perish the thought!)
(If I girl had a sugar daddy, items similar to the previous two would be in her closet.)
I'd wear this in the dead of summer buck naked underneath, it's so pretty!

Into every life a little rain must fall, but a lady can still look good in a deluge. Frankly, I would wear every coat pictured, except the plaid one. I don't like plaid and am very picky about the colors and widths of plaid I put on my body. I only own ONE plaid blouse at the moment. And as "economically priced" as they are, I say I'd get them all if I could.

I don't ski...I live in Texas, I've only seen snow TWICE in my life. But I thought it was interesting to show these skiing ensembles for the slopes from about 1938. I got as much business being on a slope somewhere as Rush Limbaugh does at a Black Panther Rally. Really. But if I get lost you can spot my brown self in the snow, drawing "HELP ME GOD" with a stick!

Sometime between 1937 and 1940, Gold beaded/sequined/embellished gowns became the norm for evening wear. This is a sensational reproduction that was inspired by a dress Ginger Rogers had worn.

This gorgeous sequined and feather edged coat was inspired by one Joan Crawford had worn.

(Inspiration)

Ginger Rogers. Did you recognize her without Fred Astaire flinging her around?

When she wasn't beating the skin off Christina with a wire hanger, Joan Crawford was wearing swank duds like this!

EVERYBODY RUN!


You had to wear something under those pretty clothes. I'm okay with the 1930's bras, they could have used some padding, but were okay they look like current bras. The 1950s bullet bra was scary. You could put out a man's eye with all that underwire. The 1920s bras was not intended to boost up the boobs, but rather flatten them to achieve the "boyish" figure that was en vogue. But now frankly, I think if a man wants a "boyish" figure, he will go find it on another guy.

The forerunner of Spanx, the girdle. All respectable ladies (and some bad ones) wore this garment to give them wonderful lines. They are pretty, but I cannot promise I'd wear one. I wore Spanx one time, and the only time during the day I drew a full breath was when I pulled the goddamned thing off. (No Spanx in the photograph of me at the start of this post)

I do like that the models' bodies are shaped like mine.
These are knit undergarments from 1939. There's two things wrong with this.
I couldn't imagine how itchy it would be against my bare skin and nether regions and I can only imagine how hard a man would laugh if my clothing came off and he saw this. How you be sexy in the longjohns little cousin?

Something like that and I have to leave my shoe in a (bad word)'s forehead.

No lady was caught without a hat, and I'd give my soul for that purple hat up top, that was popular in the late 20s and early 30s.

A lovely reproduction hat at a vintage inspired wedding.

Every last one of these bad boys....

This picture has nothing to do with my post, but I just wonder a few things.
--Why the hell are you out taking a picture with a DUST STORM approaching? That's what that wall of grime is behind them!
--Why the hell is there a child out in the DUST STORM?
--Why the hell is the child in her panties IN THE DUST STORM?
That's all, thank you! I'll cover more in Part 2: THE RICH GIRL!