It has been a full three years since Michael Jackson went on home to God, and my heart is still broken. I honestly cannot believe three years have passed and the world has somehow continued to function--albeit riddled with wars and more crime than I ever heard of--without Michael in it.
It’s seemed like a hazy bad dream to me. These three years with out him. The world, my world, just not seem right without him.
Everyday of these last three years, I have always thought of him, always loved him, always prayed for him.
Today, three years after the second worst day of my life, only second to losing my mother it still hurts.
It still hurts me terribly and badly that Michael is gone. I loved Michael so much. And though I say it a lot, I do really mean it: Michael Jackson was my everything.
(He was so beautiful.)
Michael was truly the only thing that makes me happy. No matter how bad I feel, just playing Michael’s music or his videos for any length of time automatically perks me up.
I live for Michael.
With my life, I’ve often had to battle with the idea of my own mortality and people seem to be bothered when I say I would easily give my life up for Michael to come back.
I only matter to a handful of people, if that many, and Michael resonated with millions. If someone said I could give my life to him, I really would. It would be my gift to the world.
But since I can’t, I’ve made everyday like an ever-running tribute to Michael Jackson. He deserves it and I love doing it.
I’m always writing and sharing short stories about him. Playing his music and watching his videos. He is never far from my mind and I prefer it that way.
Now that June 25 has come back around, I am going all out making the entire day an MJ Day.
I don’t care really what the music stations play, or the video stations, I’ll craft my own Michael Day. And if it takes too long, I’ll stretch it out for the week. Already, it’s a little after 8:30 in the morning. I haven’t even had breakfast yet, but I’m starting to play ALL of Michael’s music videos. I’ve got the Visionary set and will be playing all the videos. And when that’s over, I might play a concert and then some of Michael’s TV performances. It’s all how the mood strikes me and I have about maybe 50 MJ DVDs.
Plus I know I can commemorate Michael’s life a hell of a lot better than some stupid, generic TV station like BET or MTV. If I owned a TV station, I’d block out the entire week 2 times a year---the weeks of June 25 and August 29--and make them about Michael.
It makes me feel good to celebrate Michael’s life.
It was a wonderful life and I am glad to have come along and love Michael during the last 15 years of Michael’s life. Even though 15 years sounds like a lot, it’s still not enough for me. I wish he had been here longer.
But I will continue to be a Michael Jackson fan until God calls me home. That’s the vow I made to Michael every June 25. Just because he is gone doesn’t mean he cannot live on.
And even if I end up being the last MJ fan walking the Earth, I will.
I miss Michael everyday and wish he were still here.
I always will miss him because a piece of me if missing without him here.
I MISS YOU MICHAEL!
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