Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Who Fights Over Lettuce?


Hey Y’all!

Talk about being in the right place at the right time. I saw one Hell of a fight, firsthand, in the last place you’d expect to see one:

The Grocery Store!

I should have known something crazy was going to happen. It was Memorial Day and it was hot, and if you’ve seen the movie Do the Right Thing, crazy shit always goes down on a hot day.

So I was at the local grocery store, just picking up some steaks to cook that night. Now, as I was going into the store, I saw these two women, who looked like a couple of health nuts, you know, sneakers, shorts, sports bras, that sort of thing. I didn’t think anything of it. Everyone needs food.

I went around the store, getting my steaks--I LOVE STEAK--and some seasonings and Worcestershire sauce and things to make a marinade. I was almost through when I realized I needed an onion to make my marinade sing.

I proceeded back to the front of the store, to the produce section to get my onion and saw a show.

I noticed, as I neared the produce section, I could hear loud talking, yelling, but I thought nothing of it. Ill-mannered children always make noise in the store.

Getting closer, I saw a small crowd had formed. So, being the nosy Nancy I am, I asked a guy what was happening.

His words exactly,

Two bitches gone wild over some lettuce!”

Ridiculous, right?

My curiosity peaked, I gently elbowed my way to the front.

And sure enough, the two health nuts are standing toe to toe, yelling at each other. From what I could gather, one wanted to purchase an iceberg lettuce, which apparently has practically no nutritional value, and the other wanted a head of romaine, which I suppose has some value to it.

So they’re getting loud and as one tries to put their lettuce of chose in the basket, the other is throwing it out.

Eventually, heads of lettuce were being thrown, a poor man who was a bystander took an iceberg to the face, and the two women were swinging punches.

For some women who weighed about a hundred pounds, combined, they were fighting like they were Divas in the WWE. Punching, slapping, kicking. Damn if there was ever a time I wished I had my camera to submit a video to Todd Bridges on World’s Dumbest!

It was a massacre. After a few minutes when it seemed the fight was getting out of hand, the manager and a few checkers came in and tried to break it up, but I guess when you spend all your time in a gym, it works in your favor, cause they could not break it up.

Us bystanders were no help. Hell, we were cheering them on.

I know one lady’s nose got broke, the way it bled.

Someone called the police, and even as the sirens blared, they kept going, dragging back and forth, cursing, spitting and hitting.

Took four big policemen to break it up. I winked at one cop, he kinda looked like Marlon Jackson to me. (He winked back!)

And the Dumb Divas were arrested, of course, and carted away.

It was so, so stupid. I’ve had some fights before, but never over anything so trivial.

And the crazy thing is, that was NOT the first time I’ve seen a fight about lettuce. About 6 years ago, I witnessed an argument about the same thing at Wal-Mart, if you can believe it!

I just wanted share that!

Tuesday, May 21, 2013

EXCLUSIVE HORROR STORY: "Crying Infant"

 

In my lifetime, I’ve taken quite a few road trips, between vacations, competing in beauty pageants and running various other errands. One thing I always hated about these trips was when it’d be late at night, and I was in the car with maybe a couple of other people, going down a strange and dark piece of road. Just looking at the surroundings, you can almost sense that something is about happen. And for the people in our story--it does.
 
“Crying Infant”
(Based on a True Story)
 
 
 
A Michael Jackson Horror Story By:
 
MJsLoveSlave

Premble Police Department
Premble, Delaware
Winter, 1978
A young man sits on the front steps of the small police station, his slim shoulders slumped and his head held tightly in his hands.
Anyone looking upon the man could tell that at one time he was an impeccably and well dressed fellow of considerable means, that is, if they could see past his now shabby appearance.
His thick and wide afro is matted and all in a disarray, small twigs and branches tangled in it.
He wears a black trench coat, one sleeve sagging as it had been ripped from the shoulder seam. His designer jeans were torn down one side, exposing his toned brown thigh ,now dotted with skin beginning to scab over. Dust is streaked and crusted all over the man.
If anyone could have gotten close enough to actually smell the young man, they’d get a whiff of an exclusive and expensive cologne, mixed with the odors of sweat and very, very faintly, urine.
Looking up at the first few strains of morning light breaking over the horizon, the man wraps his arms around himself, trying to make complete sense of what he has just been through. The things he witnessed.
Would anything ever make sense to him ever again?
Would he want anything to make sense?
The weight of seemingly the world and the previous night’s events were tearing at him. The horror, terror and fear were just still too fresh and raw in his mind.
Beside this young man, another young man appears, his appearance similar to other man in that his afro is also in a shambles and his once nice clothing, and brown leather jacket are torn to rags. Even one of his alligator skin shoes is missing.
His big, dark eyes are glazed over as he sits and puts a hand on the other man’s shoulder.
Both men stare at each other.
They’d been through hell.
Suddenly, fiercely, both men embrace each other, instantaneously bursting into tears.
 
“Marlon…Marlon, I’m sorry! This is my fault! I’m so sorry! Oh Lord!”
Michael Jackson, the man in the remnants of a trench coat sobbed, holding his brother’s moist and damp face close to his.
“No it ain’t--it’s nobody’s fault, man! It ain’t your fault!” Marlon sniffled loudly and was hugging Michael all the tighter.
 
“We were at the wrong place at the wrong time.”
But the words meant little to Michael, because contrary to what his sibling was telling him, it was indeed his fault that they were at the wrong place at the wrong time…

 
A Few Hours Earlier
About One Hundred Miles
From Premble
“..can’t we stop for a burger or something?”
“No.”
“But I’m hungry!”
Little girl, stop talking to me!”
Michael Jackson growled, through gritted teeth, as he was vainly trying to keep his eyes on the snow crusted, tree-trimmed road that was stretching before his car.
Glancing up into the review mirror, he got a pretty clear view of the back seat. And the middle finger being waved at him by his little sister.
Sometimes Michael just didn’t understand the twelve-year-old. It was utterly remarkable to him how they were related and had come from the same mother.
Michael had always been a good kid, and now at twenty, he reckoned he was a good man. He’d never gotten in trouble in school or with the law, had always brought home good grades--nothing lower than a “B Minus”--and was generally in a pleasant mood.
Looking to the side at his brother, Marlon, curled up in the front passenger seat and sleeping, he shook his head. Marlon’s traits were closer to Michael’s. He was good, nice to be around, excelled in school, and except for a few speeding tickets, he was on the right side of the law.
And then there was Janet. The baby of the family and a little hurricane from Day One. . As an infant, for nearly the first six months of her life, Janet cried and screamed. Everyday, every hour, to the point where Michael and Marlon had to go live with their grandmother just to get a decent night’s sleep.
And then Janet, who learned to walk early, at only ten months, was never a stranger to trouble.
Every time you turned around, from the time she entered pre-school, Janet was always doing or saying something wrong. Everything from little fights in school, to cutting class, to getting her bellybutton pierced against her parent’s wishes when she was only nine!
She’d been thrown out of several schools, so many no one even tried to keep track anymore.
This time was just her latest entry on a never-ending list of infractions.
Though the entire Jackson family lived in California, Janet had been sent to a Catholic boarding school in the small rural town of Augustine, Delaware, about two hundred miles from the capital of Dover.
And true to her fashion, Janet hadn’t been there a good three months before she was being suspended for smoking in the bathroom.
At this rate, Janet was going to go through every school in the USA before she graduated--if she ever did, since her grades stayed in the toilet.
“Geez, Michael, get the stick out your ass, you’re acting like you’re the one who got caught smoking.” Janet scoffed, shaking out her short black locks, and looking like a tick about to burst in the large, pink puffer coat she wore.
“And you’re acting like you don’t have the sense God gave a gnat!” Michael shot back. “I don’t think you understand just how much you cost Mother and Dad, Janet. Damn it, all this stuff ain’t free you know. They’ve gotta pay tuition for your little ungrateful self, not to mention the plane tickets for me and Marlon to come get you and then to fly home--”
“Yeah that’s great. Mom and Dad didn’t even come to get me--they sent their stand-ins.” The girl laughed derisively. “They didn’t even care enough to come get me themselves--”
 
 
SCREECH!
 
Suddenly, Michael slammed down on the brakes, causing the car to skid several feet on the damp asphalt, and sending everyone in side lurching forward.
Man, what the hell?” Marlon, awakened as he was thrown into the dashboard, exclaimed, sitting up in a state of confusion.
Ow!” Janet screamed as she slid off the seat onto the floor of the car.
Michael, hands trembling as he unfastened his seatbelt, turning, got on his knees in the seat and was leaning into towards Janet, a long finger pointed at her.
Janet Damita-Jo Jackson…” He began, voice stagnant and his large dark eyes flashing as he tried to restrain himself. “You better get down on your knees and thank God right now that Mother and Dad didn’t come to get you, because trust me, they were so mad, they might have killed you! Dismembered you and thrown you in the woods or slam-dunked your ass out the plane on the way home. They’re tired, Janet. Tired as hell of your antics, and cutting up. It ain’t cute. It never was. You’re the reason why our folks both have high blood pressure, and Dad gets those migraines. And guess what, I’m tired as all hell too. And if I wasn’t afraid of going to jail for abandonment, I’d make you WALK home!”
Janet, awed, because neither of her brothers had never raised their voices at her, stared at Michael with wide eyes, dumbstruck.
“That’s the first time you’ve shut your damn mouth since we left the school!” Michael pointed out and alarmed, Marlon was trying to grab after his shoulders.
“Mike! Michael! Calm down, man! Calm down!” He urged, trying to soothe his sibling.
“Nah, man Marlon! I won’t sit here and have her talking s*** about Mother and Dad after all they’ve done for us. Especially her! I wish she were a boy for five minutes to I could hit her!” Michael was pulling from his brother’s grasp, as truly believing she was about to be slapped, Janet was curling up into a ball on the floor.
“Michael, you know she’s always talking s***! Let it go! You know we have to get over to the airport in Dover if we wanna make our flight. We don’t have time for to go kicking her uppity ass right now!” Marlon was crying out, hands in his own thick afro, as Michael was unlocking and opening his door, and stepping out, letting a rush of icy air into the car.
“I’m not going after her!” Michael whined as Marlon was laying in the seat and in a desperate effort, grabbing onto the sleeve of his black trench coat.
All at once, Michael’s cheeks were tinged scarlet, and a puff of steam left his mouth as he chuckled sheepishly,
I gotta use the facilities…”
“Oh!” Marlon, relived hooted as he finally released Michael’s arm. “Well hurry up! We got make that plane!”
“I will!” Michael nodded , as he began running up the bank, shoes crunching in the freezing snow, looking for a tree to hide himself behind.
“I hope a wolf comes and snatches your ‘winkie’ off!” He heard Janet call, emboldened by the fact that she wasn’t going to get the tartar knocked off her teeth.
Shut the hell up, Janet!” Marlon screamed. “Cause I WILL hit you!”
Chuckling to himself, Michael went a couple of yards into the woods, making sure that he never lost sight of the car and it’s headlights, because the last thing he wanted was to get lost out in the wilderness like that.
Finally, Michael spied a nice, large, thick-trunked tree, and eagerly ran behind it.
Ahhhh!” He sighed happily. He’d been so angry with Janet and had carried her away from her school so quickly, he’d completely forgotten to make a pit stop. His bladder was near bursting. He didn’t care that it was so cold or how the breeze was whipping his nether parts.
Michael even wrote his initials in the snow.
He was finishing up and tucking himself back into his trousers when he heard it.
Waaah! Waaah!
Startled, Michael turned in a complete circle.
“Hello?” He called shrilly. “Is some one there? Hello?”
Waaah! Waaah!
Michael’s jaw began to sag as he recognized the noise.
Somewhere nearby, a baby was crying.
Waaah! Waaah!
Unable to see, Michael went tearing through the woods and over to the car.
“Girl, you need to shut up, because if I get in that back seat, an ambulance will have to carry you home!” Marlon was threatening, waving a balled fist at Janet.
“I’d love to see you try. I’ll knock the crust off those big lips of yours!” Janet was wagging her head as Michael got to the car and was flinging the door open, breathless.
You guys…Marlon…shut the hell up Janet…guys!” He wheezed and was doubling over, trying to catch his breath.
“Mike, what’s wrong--don’t tell me something really did grab your ‘winkie‘!” Marlon snickered as Michael was crawling into the car, over him and digging into the glove compartment.
“No, you schmuck! When I was in the woods…” Michael paused and came up with a floodlight flashlight. “…I swear I heard a baby crying! I think someone left a baby out there! It’ll die in this cold1”
Marlon raised a quizzical brow at Michael and behind him, Janet was indicating that he was crazy, twirling her finger beside her head.
“A baby? You heard a baby?” Marlon repeated, not sure how to take it. “You heard a baby in the woods?”
“Yes! We have to find it! We have to help it!” Michael, adrenaline starting to flow through his veins was reaching over Marlon, opening his door and shoving him out. “Come on!”
“Do you realize how crazy you sound right now?” Marlon demanded, zipping up his brown leather jacket against the cold wind as Janet, not wanting to be left behind alone, was also getting out the car and slamming the door. Marlon knew that Michael had always had a soft spot in his heart for helping children, but this seemed ridiculous.
What kind of demented person would leave a child out there in the woods like that?
Waaah! Waaah!
Michael jumped as he was able to hear the crying carrying on the wind.
“Listen! Be quiet. Janet if you open your mouth, you’ll be picking up teeth! Listen! There‘s a child out there and we have to get it to a hospital or the police!”
Keeping their mouths closed, and Janet scowling, the others tilted their heads and strained their ears to try to hear this so-called crying that was making Michael work himself into a lather.
And very, very faintly, they could hear it.
Waaah! Waaah!
“Holy s***! I hear it!” Marlon gasped and Janet put her hands to her mouth
“I told you!” Michael replied and was turning, leading a stampede into the woods. “Get the molasses out your asses--we got a baby to save!”
Waaah! Waaah!
With eyes wide, the flashlight sweeping the ground and ears open to try to locate the crying infant.
“You got any idea where it’s coming from?” Marlon demanded, his breath coming in puffs as he and Janet were running behind Michael, going deeper and deeper into the woods.
Waaah! Waaah!
Michael, in the lead, stopped for a moment, allowing his siblings to catch up to him..
Straining his ears, Michael was certain that the crying and weeping was becoming louder. They were perhaps a few yards from the child.
“This way! This way!” He announced, waving his arms wildly and they were running deeper and deeper into the woods, knocking low branches out of their way.
“Don’t worry Baby, help is coming.” Michael vowed, his lungs stinging from the cold and was running.
Michael! Mike! Mike!” Marlon and Janet were calling after him, stumbling over tree roots and rocks doing their best to not lose him, as their platform shoes were not the best choice for this rugged terrain.
“Come on, hurry up!” Michael was sweeping his light back and forth wildly, trying to locate the child. His heart was pounding out his chest, he was so anxious and fearful.
That’s when Marlon said something that made Michael go colder than any of the plummeting temps surrounding him could.
We don’t hear the crying anymore…its stopped!”
Michael came to an abrupt halt and stood, incredibly still for several moments.
His entire body seemed to sag as the realization hit him--Marlon was right. They could no longer hear the crying.
Oh God…that…that poor baby…” Michael was instantly in tears his worst fears rushing to him and grabbing onto him. “It’s…it’s…”
He couldn’t even bring himself to form the words.
“It’s alright…we’ll get help.” Marlon was assuring him, patting at his shoulders. “That’s somebody’s child and I’m sure they’re missing them.
Marlon went to say more, but was drowned out drowned out by Janet beginning to shriek.
Ah! Ah! Ah! Ah!”
What?” Both brother’s whirled around and Michael was shining the light in his sister’s face as she continued yelping.
“There’s something on my boot! I think it’s blood!” The girl yawped and shrieked some more.
“Blood?” Michael took his light off Janet’s frightened face and shone the beam on her pink boots.
Sure enough, there was a dark red substance on her left boot.
“Good Lord!” Marlon was staggering, as the sight of anything bloody weakened him.
Michael saw that the blood seemed to be coming from behind some low shrubbery about a foot from his sister.
“Stand back, move!” Michael was pushing the girl out the way and into Marlon’s arms.
Heart thudding in his ears, Michael managed to will up the courage to go over to the bushes and pushing them back was shining his light on the ground.
Jesus Christ! No!”
The sight before him disturbed Michael so badly, that he dropped to all fours on the icy ground and was vomiting so fiercely, that Marlon and Janet came running to his aid.
“Mike! What is it? Talk to me!” Marlon begged as he and his sister were trying to pat after Michael who was simultaneously sobbing, screaming and puking.
Michael, still nauseous fell back onto his bottom and speechless, at a true loss of words, could only point.
Marlon, followed by Janet, was shoving the bushes back and taking a look.
Marlon, like Michael doubled over, head swimming, and the contents of his stomach coming out and spilling on the ground. And at some point, he managed to soil himself.
Behind them, Janet tumbled to the ground in an unconscious heap.
There, concealed by the bushes were two bodies.
That of a tiny infant girl, probably a newborn, completely naked, and covered in blood and perhaps the placenta. It appeared to be asleep, but it wasn’t.
No, this child’s chest wasn’t moving at all, and she was an ashen shade of blue. The baby wasn’t alive.
If the sight of a poor dead infant wasn’t awful enough, about two feet from the child was the body of a woman.
The mother.
But it didn’t appear that the woman had escaped into the woods and given birth, then died herself, leaving an unprotected child behind.
No, not at all.
The woman, who didn’t appear to be that much older than Michael or Marlon, was clad in a thin coat and dress, the dress had been raised up, her coat fanned behind her, drenched in a pool of blood. She had once been beautiful, with a small, oval face, and short, waved hair. Her eyes, once a pleasing shade of green, were now staring off, seeing nothing.
And the woman’s exposed tummy was what had Michael and Marlon trying to throw up their own skeletons.
The woman’s stomach appeared to have been quite literally ripped open, and a closer look would reveal that the woman and child were still linked by the umbilical cord.
Just what was this? An attempted baby abduction gone wrong? A murder? Both?
Michael, Jackson didn’t wait for an answer. He didn’t want one.
Leaping to his feet and around Marlon, he stooped and scooped up Janet, still out cold on the ground.
Come on Marlon! Run! Run!” He screamed at his brother before, terrified, he began fleeing from the horrific scene.
Very close behind him, Michael could hear Marlon running behind, trying to keep up.
It was a very awkward and dangerous run, as the trio were whipped in the faces by low hanging branches, their clothes snagging and ripping.
At one point, Michael’s entire pant leg was ripped open by a low branch, exposing his leg up to the thigh. Another branch ripped the arm of his jacket.
Marlon was also taking his own beating, falling several times, losing a shoe and getting his leather jacket torn to ribbons.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Michael’s car came into view and in a huff, Michael yanked the back door open, threw his sister into the backseat, and was scrambling into the front as Marlon was climbing over the hood to get around to the passenger’s side.
Smoke went up as he burned rubber to get away.
“Mike, did you see what the hell I saw?” Marlon stammered, his entire body shaking. “A woman and a baby--”
“They’re dead! Marlon, they were dead!” Michael was crying all over again as he was trying to control his car and keep from crashing he was so messed up. “Someone killed them! Oh Marlon!”
“”Michael, I got a wife and two kids at home. If anything like that ever happened to them--I’d die!” Marlon gasped and was holding his head in his hands.
“We’re going to the police. There’s a town coming up ahead…Premble, I think. We gotta get help man…that’s just horrible. Oh my God, that poor child!”
They didn’t know how long they were on the road, but eventually, they did reach the town of Premble, and the police station.
Driving into the nearly empty parking lot of the station, a low, squat building, Michael and Marlon leapt from the car, and paused a moment to look at Janet.
She was still knocked out in the backseat.
“You think she’s gonna be alright out here?” Michael wondered, staring at the girl.
“Yeah, she’s got her anger to keep her warm, come on Man!” Marlon was tugging at Michael’s arm.
Both men went running up the salt covered sidewalk and concrete steps and through the double doors of the building.
At that late hour of the morning, they found only one man on duty, a skinny policeman dozing behind his desk, a cup of long cold coffee before him and a half eaten, now-stale donut.
The visor of his hat had been pulled down over his eyes.
Across the room in a cell, a dirty drunk was sleeping off his night’s worth of libations.
“Hey! You! Help us! Help! Wake up!” Michael announced as he came around the desk and was shaking the man awake.
“Leave me alone, Emma, it ain’t our anniversary and it ain’t your birthday!” The man grumbled sleepily, and forgetting he was in a lawful setting, Michael drew back a hand, striking the cop with all the force he could muster.
The cop flew out his chair and landed on the tiled floor.
Alarmed, he put a hand to his face and was staring up at Michael in shock.
Motherf***er, did you just hit me?” He demanded and was slowly putting his hand onto the gun hanging in his holster.
“Mister, we got an emergency! We think we found a murder scene!” Marlon cried out as he and Michael, afraid of being shot put their hands up to shield themselves.
A murder? Where?” The cop leapt to his feet, ready to spring into action and round up the rest of the force.
“Out over on Highway 76. Off the road, in the woods. We found…oh lord…” Michael clung to Marlon as tears began streaming from his eyes.
“We found a woman and a baby--both dead, Sir.” Marlon, unaware of it, was doing his own crying, snot falling from his nose. “The baby had been crying, it stopped…”
Both brothers were unprepared for the policeman’s reaction.
“I want you two kids--I know you ain’t from around here--to forget what you done seen and go on home. Go on home and never speak about this again, you hear me?”
Michael couldn’t have looked more shocked if the deceased woman had strolled in with her baby in her arms.
“What the hell do you mean ‘forget it’? There’s a woman and baby dead out in the woods! Have you lost your damn mind?” Michael demanded and was pulling free from Marlon. “That’s someone’s wife! Someone’s child! Hell no I won’t forget it! What kind of a cop are you?”
Before the cop could respond, Michael turned to his shaken brother and informed him,
“Let’s get out of here. If this crooked son of a b**** won’t help us, we’ll find someone who will!”
As the men gave the cop a look of pure hate, and turned to leave the station, the cop blurted,
“What you kids saw…what you saw--it ain’t real. It ain’t real!”
Marlon spun on his heel.
“Look, my brother and I may look completely busted and screwed up right now, but I can guarantee you: We ain’t stupid. We know what we saw--”
The policeman stalked over to Marlon and was staring down at him harshly.
“I don’t know what you and your brother thought you saw, but I’m telling you--there ain’t no dead woman and child on Highway 76 in the woods, god damn it. And there hasn’t been since 1934.”
“Huh?” Michael and Marlon both stared at the policeman, trying to make heads and tails out of him.
“What you saw…it ain’t real. I don’t know how you boys are fixed for the paranormal and stuff like that, but--”
“Are you trying to tell us we saw a ghost?” Michael started.
“Of some people that died in 1934?” Marlon finished for him and they traded glances.
What was going on?
“Yes, let me guess. You saw a woman with her stomach bust open, in a dress and coat, with the baby still on the cord to her, right?” The cop asked and was taking his seat back behind his desk.
“Yes…” Michael confirmed and head spinning, he grabbed onto the desk to keep from sinking to the floor.
Marlon supported him from behind, his own knees weak..
“Yeah…” The cop nodded. “That’s not a strange occurrence in these parts around this time of year. You see, back in 1934, a woman named Liza Simmons who was expecting, worked as a house keeper to some people here in town--she lived in the woods as she and her husband, Richard, weren’t that fixed for money, you know. And she always walked to the street to be picked up by her boss…” The cop reached into his desk and came up with a box of donuts, offering them to the Jackson.
Both declined. Neither didn’t think they’d be able to eat again after what they’d seen.
Munching on another glazed donut, the cop spoke some more.
“So the boss, a rich lady named Pearl White gets there, no Liza. The woman gets out her car and goes to Liza’s house and finds Richard alone, eating his breakfast--he was factory worker here in town-- and tells him Liza wasn’t on the road. Well this worried Richard, because he’d seen his wife take off. He’d kissed her goodbye. So the two of them going running through the woods, calling for her. And I’m sure, just like you, they heard a baby crying…”
Michael and Marlon stiffened up, but said nothing.
“And suddenly the crying stopped. Then Pearl screamed and fainted, leaving Richard to find his wife and baby dead. Called the police, called the coroner. Damndest thing.. With the autopsy and all, they said that since Liza was on the side of the road, some driver must have hit her and knocked her back in the woods. Must have been doing some hell of a kind of speeding because she was hit so hard, it knocked the baby clean out her!”
Marlon sagged to the floor and crawled over to the trash can emptying what was left of his stomach into it.
Michael just sat there. Numb.
“We never did find out who did it. Richard died not too long after--from a broken heart people said. But this is right around the time, the anniversary of those lives cut short. When people start claiming to hear and see stuff…It was Liza’s first child--she was only seventeen. Damn shame….”
The cop went to say more, but Michael stood and started slowly making his way for the door.
Just forget it kid, please! You can‘t do anything! You‘re decades too late!” The cop called after him as he left the station and took a seat on the front steps, head in his hands, trying to figure out just what he’d witnessed. What he had been through.
Tears of confusion fell from his eyes as Marlon emerged, just as shell-shocked as he.
He took a seat near him and as Michael blubbered that the whole episode had been his fault, Marlon tried to comfort him.
It took a good long while before both men could get their heads on straight enough to get back in their car and continue on to Dover. They had missed their flight, but caught a later one on home. They just really wanted to get as far away from Delaware as humanly possible.
As crazy as it all had been, the death and the bodies and the possibility that it had been an illusion, one good thing did come from it.
Janet had been scared straight, and never caused any sort of trouble, ever again.
 
THE END!!

Thursday, May 2, 2013

One Hell Of A Day!

Hey Y’all!

As some of the readers might know, I have been on dialysis for kidney failure the last four years of my life. My only chance of getting off of dialysis, is for me to get a kidney transplant. And since no one I know can give me one, I have to rely on one harvested from an organ donor after they die, unfortunately.

The last couple of months, I’ve been working with a hospital in Houston in an effort to get on their donation list so I can hopefully get a kidney one day.

And today in Houston was absolutely harrowing. This particular hospital does the evaluations for their list in three days. My first day was in March, the second in April and the third on the First of May. So, for some jacked reason they always want the day to start like at the ass crack of dawn. So I literally was up and getting dressed at 4:15 in the MORNING! Do you know how hard it is to concentrate on putting on eye shadow at that hour? No lie, I was up that early to be in Houston for a 7:45 am blood test.

And get a load of this: I couldn’t’ eat or have coffee until the tests were done! Me. Without coffee. AT THE CRACK OF DAWN! You know I was flipping out .

Four of us went to Houston, me, my dad, and his two friends.

Riding into Houston was alright. No bad traffic, no bad weather…it was all good. We got into the hospital which is this ridiculously large maze of connecting buildings. It literally is like a city within itself. It’s so big, that each building has it’s own cafeterias and Starbucks (and the letter bringing me in tells me specifically which garage to park in!!!)

Now, I only had two tests to do. One was to get what they called “fasting” labs drawn and the other was a chemical stress test.

I went in, was called about 15 minutes later and a very nice and capable woman tied my right arm up, popped a butterfly needle in and get this--filled up TWENTY-FIVE vials with my blood I was kind of shocked she had to fill so many. The most I had ever had drawn was 14. But she filled all twenty-five (making 34 with the 9 that had been drawn on Day One) and I actually had some blood left. And it didn’t hurt at all.

That took less than 10 minutes.

Then I had to take off, from the 12th floor where I was, down to the second floor, leave that building, walk a mile in the complex of buildings and then ride up another elevator to the 16th floor of that building. Now I made this trek alone, because I didn’t want my dad or his friends to have to drag ass that far. But I was pretty freaked because I am scared to death of elevators, ever since I was trapped on one a few years ago.

Anyway, I get to the place for my stress test and that’s when the fucking trouble started.

A man named Roberto called me back and started explaining how the test would go. I’d get the chemical that would react and make me feel like I had run for like 20 minutes at top speed. Then I’d get x-rays before and after to see how my heart looked. I said okay, let’s go. So Roberto split and this woman named Gertie came in. that’s where it got awkward. I had to take off my top and stand their with my boobies hanging out as Gertie attached little electrodes to me and actually bound my chest with an ace bandage. (to hold a heart monitor) Okay, Gertie split, and Roberto came back, so he could put the IV in my arm so we could get the testing together. Now I wasn’t too worried, I’d had the same sort of thing done in Galveston at a hospital there. So Roberto feels around my arm. And I should have know something was going to go wrong, because I did NOT see the vein he was trying to hit. The needle went in and the screaming started. It hurt, that’s all it did. HURT. And he kept doing what he called “threading” the needle which means put rock it back and forth in the vein trying to get the blood to come through which is incredibly painful. Finally as he claimed he had it--he didn’t, trust me--I jerked slightly and he missed again. I was in pain. When you hurt, you move, damn it. So that needle didn’t work. We separated a few minutes, calmed down and I was a fool and let him try again. So he hit a “vein” about 2 inches over. It didn’t work and it hurt so bad, my arm swelled and I wasn’t able to bend it at the elbow for over and hour. I started crying, and that freaked the guy out, so he said he was going to get the doctor, this guy named Todd to try. Now, usually, you only get to stick me ONCE before I take flight and get the hell outta there. But since we’d come so far, I was trying to put up with it. Todd comes in.

Now keep in mind, I’m alone, sleep deprived, hungry and thirsty. I was starting to turn into a major bitch, and it was by the grace of God I didn’t snatch his balls off his body.

Me and Todd sat and talked as he molested my hand looking for a vein for a few minutes. He picked out a vein I could see, which made me feel a little better. It didn’t last long. He got the needle in and was trying to thread it, and he seemed hell-bent on doing it even though it wasn’t happening. He kept trying to push saline in to flush it, and it was aching and finally I just yelled, telling him to let it go. It was a goddamned mess, blood went everywhere. And I didn’t know what to do. So I was telling them let me call my dad to see if he thought I should let them give it another try before I told them all to merrily go to hell. I was so hungry I was getting dizzy, damn it.

It took forever to get a hold of my dad because I had to call through all sorts of channels. Then when the nurse called my dad, he freaked out because I guess he thought I died while doing the test or something. He was scared and I had to calm him down. Then the nurse on the other end said the best thing I had heard all day.

Told me not to let those people stick me again and come back over to the other building. I was so happy, I could have done a flip. You know, those stress test people had the nerve to look sad I was leaving? I didn’t give a flying fig!.

I didn’t even wait for Gertie to come back and help get all that stuff off me. I’ve been in the hospital enough to know how to remove stuff like that. All the electrodes and ace bandage came off, and I got dressed and bolted.

But not before stopping at one of the Starbucks and getting a large iced caramel macchiato. It was the best damn tasting cup of coffee in the world at that moment. Like angels started singing.

I went back over to the 12th floor where my dad and his friends were and I was a mess, covered in band aids, and I know I looked pitiful.

I rescheduled the test and I hope when I do go back that whomever does the IV knows what they are doing! I finally did get to eat though. A big messy whopper with fries and a soda. I’m full and pleased and just a little bit sore.

But I’ll live.

I’ve lived through worse. Try getting stitches WITHOUT anesthesia!

I’ll blog about the next trip in and it better go well!


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MY POOR ARM AND HAND!!!!