A Break, Please?

Hey Y'all!

Many of you might not know this, but for the last two years, I have been on dialysis for kidney failure. Yes, it's true.(And yes, I am only 25.)  Three times a week for three hours a go (down from 4 and half hours) I go and let a machine do the work my kidneys can't anymore. Anyway, it is very time consuming, and honestly, I don't like it, but it does keep me alive. My dad usually takes me back and forth--because I'm not really in a good mood to drive after treatment--and sometimes my friend Ebonie takes me back and forth.
My boyfriend Dion, would like to take me but he works very long hours at his store and also faints at the sight of blood. LOL. He literally hits the groud and turns green.

Well, you know that sort of thing is montonous after a while. Back and forth, needles...and I need a break. So today, Ebonie took me there--she will NOT let me skip it for anything in the world. She's a great friend, kind of like a Kidney Guardian Angel. And I appreciate her being so nice as to help me. She has a family member on dialysis too, so she knows what its about. I'm glad she empathizes with me.

Anyhoo, after I got out of what I dubbed as "hell" we went over to Red Lobster where they are having a 15 dollar, four course feast, where you get soup, salad, an entree with sides and a dessert for 15 dollars. You kind of get to eat like if you were on a date with Michael Jackson...or I'd imagine. LOL.
We both got the clam chowder, ceasar salad, grilled chicken with garlic heb shrimp and mashed spuds and I got a key lime pie. (Ebbie had a lava brownie with ice cream)

It was great. I'm always full and I always have some to bring home. It's amazing how a hen and some crustaceans can make a person feel better. And the company of a good friend. Every so often I like to feel "normal" and I don't seem to get that chance often, but when I do , I really enjoy it.

I hope I can do it again soon.

Burn, Baby Burn, Grease Inferno!

Hey Y’all!

I hate to cook. I just want to put that out there. I really, really hate to cook. To get in a kitchen and cook something from scratch just kills me. I’d rather nuke something in the microwave or run down to a restaurant and get something to eat. Or I let my boyfriend cook something because he likes to cook. (And he’s a wonderful cook!) Especially in the summer. I live in Texas and it’s always hotter than hell outside, and in a kitchen where the oven and stovetops are blazing.
(I already had to get rushed to the hospital once for fainting from the heat while cooking! I had to get an IV and transfused with fluids and the whole nine. It sucked!)
But since I take care of my elderly father, I generally have to play Rachel Ray and cook the meals.
So there I was in the kitchen, making some smothered pork chops with gravy and collard greens with bacon.
I fry my chops before smothering them, and I had the last chop frying. So I left the kitchen for a second to ask my father something, I swear I don’t even remember what is was now.
I wasn’t gone long at all and when I came back, under the skillet with the chop had started burning and was flaming up.




I didn’t even smell it burning!
I blew at it a few moments, ran and told me dad there was a fire and went back and blew at it again. (I don’t know WHY I didn’t throw water or baking soda on it!)
Thankfully, with a few blows, the flames went out. But it scared me. I literally hate fire and that really shook me up.
I finished the meal with no more incidents and went to rest.
I’m glad it wasn’t any worse than that. I have a room full of Michael Jackson and pageant stuff right next to the kitchen and I probably would have died trying to save my stuff. Ha-ha.
I really hate cooking and it will be a LONG time before I make the chops again, trust me.

My June 25th...

Hi Everyone,
As we all know, the date of June 25, 2009 is a date that will live on in infamy for the rest of time to the Michael Jackson fan base. We all know that as the day that our lovely and beautiful beacon of light was dimmed due to a neglectful excuse for a man posing as a doctor.
I’ll never forget it. How I laid down for a nap and then a few hours later, my life and world had changed forever.
My horror and heartbreak when I first heard about Michael’s going to Heaven will live with me and haunt me the rest of my life.
For so long in my life, Michael Jackson had always been there, front and center, ingrained in nearly every facet of my life.
His pictures coat the walls of my room and decorate several others in my house. I proudly wear shirts with his image at least once a month, more if the mood strikes me and I ALWAYS wear an MJ button.
People are so used to seeing me with my button than when I don’t wear it, they ask me why.
Michael Jackson has become a part of my identity. Some people may not know my name, but they know me as that “girl that likes MJ” and I’m fine with that. I don’t mind be associated with Michael one bit. It’s nice.
When Michael died, it was like a part of me died. A major part. The last time I felt physical searing pain like that was when my mother had died, a little over a year earlier in April of 2008.
I guess to some fans, Michael Jackson is more than just a cute performer on a stage. In being a fan for decades--I’ve been a fan for 16 years--some people do feel a familiarity with Michael. Some people I’m sure even thought of him as a part of their family he was so present.
And truly, it was kind of like a friend to me had died. Now I will say, I never met Michael personally, but I did feel a closeness. I respected him, not for his house full of awards but for the good he did through his charity works. He shared of himself whenever he could and I found that endearing.
Also, as a fan I kind of felt the need to protect Michael and his name and over the years, I’ve had my share of screaming matches--and fist fights--about Michael and it was worth it. I regret none of my fights, as I usually do come out triumphant.
It was just in me as something to do. I never questioned the feeling that came over me in regards to Michael. I just went with it and it never led me wrong.
It’s just sad to see such a wonderful and creative and talented person just snatched away so quickly, not even given a fighting chance.
That’s what so tragic, and how his family and legions of fans are left to hurt.
So now, two years after one of the most tragic moments of my life, I refuse to forget Michael Jackson. With my friends I sat and watched MJ videos and listened to his songs and talked and shared wonderful memories of him.
I’m going to do that for the rest of my life.
One day I hope to have children and they will be raised with MJ in their ears.
Michael is such a part of my life that even though he is gone, he’s not really. He lives on forever in my heart and always will.

The End of an Era

I have heard distressing news.

My favorite Michael Jackson board, the MJJB, is going to close its doors next month. I was devastated. So many clubs and things for Michael are closing down, but I do understand that the people running the clubs have thier own lives to live and things of that sort. I have a fan fiction story that I had been posting there for the longest and since the board is closing, I have decided to post the remaining chapters of the story on my blog, along all my other postings. So after July 20, Strawberries will be posted on my blog.

And I'll keep posting on this blog as long as I can.



It's all for LOVE and all for Michael.