I know I have spent the greater portion of my life as a Michael Jackson fan, extremely loyal and dedicated to the One Gloved Wonder, but I never truly gave my fierce defense of him much thought until I had a dream last night that truly shook me to my core.
My dream was very strange. And while I didn't actually SEE Michael in it, I made enough noise about him, just the same.
I was with a group of maybe a dozen or so people, and we were in this old house. Something much like Michael's "Ghosts" video.
We all went down this long corridor and wound up in this old, wood-paneled office. The closest thing I could see to it was this from the film "Vertigo".
All wood all very masculine looking. But it was dimmer, darker and much more sinister looking, Inside this office, strange things happened. Different ghosts began appearing to me and group.
Scaring us, taunting us.
People were screaming and crying and cowering in the corners, trying to escape this craziness.
And then a new figure came into the room:
The Grim Reaper.
As I live and breathe the Grim Reaper was in the room with us!
And the first thought that entered my mind was not of my own mortality or anything at all of the sort.
While everyone else was going off the walls crying and having tantrums I went directly to this.
To Death...
And started screaming at him to give Michael Jackson back.
Screaming, demanding and yelling at this faceless creature with a scythe (the knife on the stick) to give Michael Jackson back to the world. Take one of the other people in the room with me, but give Michael back. That the world needed him. I needed him; we all needed him.
When I awoke, it was with a strange feeling. Kind of like that strange woozy sensation after a thrill ride at the fair. I don't know what it all meant or what it was supposed to do for me, but that dream struck a nerve in me.
For me to stand, puff out my chest and go toe to toe with the personification of Death itself, to demand Michael Jackson be brought back to the world, even after four years, I can't even begin to describe what that feels like or means to me. It shows me that I still love him, I still care, I'm still a damn good fan to him. Especially to stand and yell for his return. Because I know it wouldn't just mean something to me...but to so, so many others.
I looked to two separate dream interpretation websites for some sort of clarification of what a dream of the Grim Reaper means. Both stated that it could represent aspects of myself I'd prefer to keep hidden. In the idea that I wanted MJ back and basically was willing to sacrifice anyone in the room showed I was kind of selfish. But I'm an only child, what do you want? I didn't learn the word share until I was six.
But if it is selfishness that made me want him back, its not a trait of which I would be ashamed.
All Michael ever did in this world was love and want to love and be a good, solid contributor to humanity. And if it's selfish of me to want to bring that kind of descent, outstanding individual back to the world, then I will go until the Grim Reaper actually does put his icy grip on me being selfish.
I don't want Michael Jackson back just to go to his concert or buy his album. I want him here because he truly did make this world a better place and I remember even on my worst days I would say "Well Michael is here, so it'll be okay".
There's so many people, so many fans, his family, so many in general that would benefit and appreciate having him back.
And if it's selfish I am, I'm proud of that selfishness in me.
It was all just a dream, but it made me see an aspect of myself I've never noticed before. And I'm glad I got to see it.
And that I almost--ALMOST--helped humanity.
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