It's that time again! As I get deeper and deeper into this "Ratchet People" phenomenon, the more I want to scrub my eyeballs with Clorox. It is completely foreign to me:
1) How these people put these "outfits" together and
2) Allow photos of themselves in said outfits to be passed around the internet in a public forum.
I knew that the Ratchet look was loud and flamboyant, but LAWDY, I never imagined it was like this. And where do I be to MISS THIS SHIT:
She looks like a Rold Gold Pretzel gone Bad in that mess. I suppose it needed the wholes, because leaving it all in one piece would have just been SILLY.
Why the hell is this woman wearing her grandchild's swimsuit?
She must be a Ghetto Girl Scout--Made her whole outfit from bits of twine. I like how everyone else is just so calm. I'd be laying in the street laughing my ass off.
This should be against the law...compressing your poor boobs like that. It reminds me of those old playdoh molds where you squeezed it through and made strings...
SAME DIFF.
GUESS WHO'S NOT VOTING FOR MITT ROMNEY!!!!!!! Yay, Harriet Tubman!
What the actual FUCK is this? Is it a man? A woman? Trying to pass themselves off as Mary J. Blige?
I know this bastard isn't stripping! Someone call Shady Pines, they're missing an inmate--I mean, patient. And why is there a thatch of blonde pubic hair glued to the top of his head?
WTF is Ashanti doing? I know she got money, so why is she threading old pieces of panty hose together with foil? I don't even think I'd use that in the bedroom. Have my man scared if I breathe too hard, I might fillet my damn self. Ratchet ain't just for the poor, they have rich offenders too.
I am actually sitting and waiting for this crazy train to go flying off a mountainside. All of this is a rampant, searing cry for HELP and no one is fucking listening. Mark my words, this will end with a long stay in rehab or WORSE. I mean all those clothes probably cost more than my car, all to look like a crackhead whore. I know heroin chic is coming back, but damn, folks wanna look like Kate Moss, not...whatever that's supposed to be.
Strippers....senior edition....DAMN. I can't unsee what has been seen. And WHY does she look like she has a BLACK EYE! Probably got into a fight over the last pill in the Geritol bottle.
I didn't know Patrick Starr had a wife! That's amazing!
Ratchet starts young, y'all. It's real....And I'd sooner hang myself than do that to my child.
And on that note I end this blog post. Gotta scrub my eyes.
PART TWO OF RATCHET CLOTHING, COMING SOON!
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